I'm so excited you found Resilient fat goddess!
Hi y'all! I'm Sarah. You can read about the story of how Resilient Fat Goddess came to be here.
I write about all the things body liberation, fat liberation, eating disorder, and body positivity related.
I work with individuals and organizations in a variety of ways to improve their resiliency and compassion for people in larger bodies. To find out more about what I do click here.
What's on my mind:
Last night the seat next to mine on my flight was empty. This morning it isn’t. I’m not rolling in the dough enough to purchase a second seat ahead of time and wait to get reimbursed. So, I am going to have to see if someone will be willing to switch seats with me at the last minute where there is an empty middle. You know how willing people are to give that up. [insert eye roll] This puts me at risk of getting kicked off the flight.
Let’s talk about Intuitive Eating. How do you navigate honoring your hunger or respecting your fullness, when you can’t afford to buy enough food? How do you enjoy the pleasure of eating, when you can’t buy food that sounds good to you? How do you enjoy the pleasure of eating, when you are worried about if you will be evicted from your home?
Our relationship with the people that raised us often forms how we relate to food and body as we grow and become adults. I’ve heard that the way we are spoken to as children is what becomes our inner voice/inner critic as we become more independent from our caregivers. I don’t know if this is exactly true. What I do know is that my parents had a major influence on my relationship with food and body. Do I think they caused my eating disorder? Nope. They were doing the best they knew how with the resources they had. Plus genetics, culture, finances, and all that. There are lots of factors.
I don’t think I would survive very long without community. No, really. I don’t think I would. Community has always been incredibly important to me. It has changed and shifted over the years as I have learned and grown. I’ve been a part of many different communities over the years. They have all taught me different lessons and nourished a part of me.
In my graduate school classes, sizeism is mentioned once in the entire five years I’m a graduate student. Every single class is required to talk about marginalized identities and how whatever topic the class is focused on impacts those who are more marginalized or oppressed. Fat people are never mentioned except in the one class one time. I know from my lived experience that fat people are oppressed and I began studying feminism and learning about the history of size oppression in college. Eating disorders are covered one day in my “abnormal psychology” class and never mentioned again. Even in my “psychology of women” class eating disorders were never mentioned and diet culture wasn’t talked about.
I did not always believe that fat people had a right to eat regularly and enough food, every day.
Nope. I had so much internalized fatphobia, weight stigma and bias that I very much bought into the idea that my fat body was a problem. A BIG problem.
Which meant that I shouldn't (read: didn't deserve to) eat regularly and enough food, every day.
It was impossible for me to feel much joy or pleasure, take up space, or gasp. . .feel sexy.