While I physically ache at my dog’s absence, she gave me and my body the power to recognize belonging.Read More
I’m finalizing a presentation on the ways that sizeism and eating disorders, separately and together, intersect for trans and gender diverse folx. While researching scientific and community based articles, it really got me thinking about my experience as a kid (a lot research is focused on trans youth) coming of age while recognizing my sexuality was different than almost everyone I knew.Read More
The dominant culture in our society favors those who are thin and dehumanizes those who are fat. We are constantly reminded of this on a daily basis. There is an entire 150 billion-dollar industry worldwide that exists because of faphobia and weight stigma. Add in approximately $3 billion for stomach amputation or stomach alteration surgery otherwise known as weight loss surgery globally. There is no escaping that people are afraid of fatness. Fatphobia: Fear of fat, fat people, and/or fatness.Read More
Our relationship with the people that raised us often forms how we relate to food and body as we grow and become adults. I’ve heard that the way we are spoken to as children is what becomes our inner voice/inner critic as we become more independent from our caregivers. I don’t know if this is exactly true. What I do know is that my parents had a major influence on my relationship with food and body. Do I think they caused my eating disorder? Nope. They were doing the best they knew how with the resources they had. Plus genetics, culture, finances, and all that. There are lots of factors.Read More
I did not always believe that fat people had a right to eat regularly and enough food, every day.
Nope. I had so much internalized fatphobia, weight stigma and bias that I very much bought into the idea that my fat body was a problem. A BIG problem.
Which meant that I shouldn't (read: didn't deserve to) eat regularly and enough food, every day.
It was impossible for me to feel much joy or pleasure, take up space, or gasp. . .feel sexy.Read More
It was easy to know in high school when I was starving myself, using laxatives not as prescribed, and making myself throw up that I most likely had an eating disorder. This was the way I saw them represented in after school specials, and documentaries in health class. Though when I started seeing a therapist at 16, I was never told I had an eating disorder. I was never offered eating disorder treatment.Read More
I really did think that each time would be different. I really thought that I would fall into the 5% of people that would be able to maintain significant weight loss long term. I wanted to be anyway. I did NOT want to accept that I was just your average person who couldn’t maintain weight loss over time.Read More